Okay so I last ended at year 10. I think define toy my lowest point was definitely starting year 11. It is such a big step from hear Ten to year 11 I was overwhelmed by all the homework, assignments and assessments I had to do. I had this mindset during that year that I had to be perfect in every way. Obviously that was impossible but I didn't know at the time. Even lost mark, everything anyone said to me that was mean I took it to heart and kept it hidden deep inside. I knew that it would continue to consume me over time but I just kept trying to bottle up these issues and run away from how I was really feeling. Honestly I just hated myself. I was getting high marks , always at they'll of the class but I kept on besting myself up if I did anything wrong or lost any marks. Finally it got so hard to cope with anything so I found that a good way to let out my hatred was to cut myself. Pretty soon my arms were laced wih cuts and scars, thy were my way of expressing the hatred I had for myself. I took it out on myself. I continued to cut away for a moth before I told anyone.
Finally I told my friends and they really helped and supported me encouraging me to tell my parent. On Good Friday I told my mum. I still remember the expression of shock on he face, she hadn't known what I'd been feeling or doing to myself. We went and say a doctor and I got my first psychologist appointment.
That's all for today will post soon, thanks to anyone who listens to my story. For those who are out there struggling stay strong.
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